Green Eyes hates Territories.

You know what’s lame ass? Me. Why? Because Sunday was the National Puerto Rican Day Parade. It’s colorful and loud and amazing with fantastic music and food and the constant honking of horns as people wave Puerto Rican flags.

(There has been a small issue in the past of people pissing in the flowers lining the Park avenue sidewalk…but let’s blame that on a lack of porta-potties.

Port-a-potty?

Portapotty?

Port-o-potty?

Porter-potty?

Uh…bathrooms.


But I didn’t feel well on Sunday.


So in reaction to the live and in color Puerto Rican Day parade only blocks from my home…

I did the whitest thing imaginable.

I laid down on a yoga matt and watched the Puerto Rican parade episode of SEINFELD on DVD and drank some Crystal Light peach flavored decaffeinated iced tea.

Yeah…

Um, but to be clear, I’m not racist. Seriously.

Per my fan's request...

they do the Macarena but i'm still not impressed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj-x9ygQEGA&feature=player_embedded

Thank you Dorito.
Amazing.

Thank you Lord

And now a joke from Popsicle...

http://sharing.theflip.com/session/2690376467162b2c617bd89d09c514e7/video/4369137

Green Eyes shops till she flops

It is SO shameful.
Shameful doesn’t cover it.
It is shame-TASTIC.
Shame-ALICIOUS
I’m the shame-MEISTER!

Why? Well…((sigh dramatically)).
Last week I found myself idly flipping channels. Somehow the monotone drone of a woman worshiping all-things-tacky sucked me in and I zoned out watching the HOME SHOPPING NETWORK
(((hangs head in shame)))

But stop… It gets worse.
It gets worse-TASTIC
Worse-ALICIOUS
I’m the worse-MEISTER!

Why? Well… I ordered something. Yeah. I ordered a ring. (Um, but FYI it’s so hot!! Turquoise stone with a gold snake)

But WAIT! It gets WORSER!!!
Yeah yeah yeah, worser-tastic, worser-alicious and I’m the worser-meister.
Why?
Because the ring I bought was from a celebrity jewelry line. An AWFUL one.
It’s too shameful, worse, worser and worsest… I can’t tell.
But I can say this.
It RHYMES…
With Bori Belling.

Yeah… that’s right. I bought some Bori Belling Jewelry.

I have watched this three times

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCdmiZyyGjQ&feature=PlayList&p=3738547C9EC02A29&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=19