For everyone's wonderment and joy I have jotted down a quick and simple summary of our upcoming voyage to the world of serious film...
*Please note all film reviews will be posted in Courier New font... Because let's face it, it seems a little more filmy... Um, also I don't want anyone to mistake it for me talking about my own life... Because I don't have syphillis.
High school Freshman Hannah Vogul is the good girl; you can tell because she wears oxford shirts and plays a musical instrument.
But then bad boy Nick Hartman ((INSERT GASP)) convinces her to fellate him (that is grown-up talk for blowjob) and then invites her to a group fellate-ish party!
But then friend Dawn confesses her contraction of ((say the next word in a threatening tone)) SYPHILLIS…
There is a school out break of ((say the next word in a threatening tone)) SYPHILLIS.
What will happen with Hannah’s self esteem, her new hobby of blowjobs, her relationship with her parents, her mouth sores?
All as a result of ((you know what to do!)) SYPHILLIS.
Marsha Gay Harden stars as Hannah’s thick-thighed yet concerned mother and co-starring as Hannah’s good friend is this other girl who I recognized from stuff I can’t remember.
Join me on this adventure my friends! Next Monday, an impassioned review and really, a blog-o-riffic therapy session on the first 30 minutes of what I can tell will be a new addition to the list of Great American Films.
*Click on the link below to see the summarizing clips of "She's Too Young" that some douche took the time to put against Pink's "Who New"... Y'know, that really dumb song by Pink.
**Oh sorry, will narrow down; the really dumb song by Pink that is entitled, "Who Knew."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cstWgX_aWlI
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